Replication is not HA, HA is where either node can fail and the system continues to work. Replication cannot recover when the replication hasn’t completed and the latency is not acceptable for most use cases to have HA across two datacenters. Snapshots and replication is a backup strategy. RAID is not a backup.
As with your other comments, you have no clue. All of 2-node HA works with shared disks and 2 controllers, it has to for consistency. Exactly how TrueNAS or Nexenta works, every hardware RAID (iSCSI from HP, Dell) and JBOD enclosure also has 2 controllers, shared disk. TrueNAS is pretty cheap, I’ve gotten actual quotes and they are basically badged SuperMicro servers and they charge a few % on top for the license. What you think is expensive did what they do properly: shared architecture, SAS controllers, redundancy, monitoring - the hardware on its own is expensive - more expensive than jamming bargain bin SSD in a chassis.
There are actually RAID solutions that put 2 controllers in 2 buildings and have it function, there are restrictions on how far the two locations can be from each other, but definitely tenable to be outside nuke range (~30 miles). It’s not going to be ‘fast’. There are also eventual consistency engines, provided you can sustain some data loss.
I’ve written code in the past to do the same on Solaris back in the day ZFS can definitely do it. You want expensive, go ask quotes for most NVMe scale-out solutions, $100/TB/month for software alone is not unusual.
What you’re thinking you need is scale-out, Ceph, VAST, Isilon, MinIO, but before you properly build those I’m sure you are going to compare them to the RAM in your homelab. BtrFS/ZFS and DRBD/snapshots is not scale-out, it’s calling your backup a HA solution.