We could not solve this issue reliably and ended up moving away from ZFS for primary VM storage. At this point we have switched to Ceph with an all-flash configuration. The investment in terms of EUR was quite substantial but the results are pretty good - i dare say "worth it". After roughly one year of service Ceph delivers what it promises. There have been no unexplained glitches, no wiered crashed or missing logs & no performance issues. Even though it comes with lots of new concepts and can be scary at first - It's pretty straight forward to maintain once you start using it.