It's been what, a week and a half? Update on findings thus far...
We are using TrueNAS Scale on the "storage host" Dell PowerEdge R740xd. It has the backplane installed that supports 24x 2.5" SATA/SAS drive, and 12 of those slots will also support U.2 NVMe drives. It's running 3x PCIe x16 "extension cards" to interface the NVMe drives to PCIe.
We have 10x Micron 9300 Pro NVMe drives installed, and are running RAIDZ1.
For network connections, all 3x R740xd servers (2x Proxmox hosts, plus the 1 storage host) have dual 25gbe links, but thus far we've not bonded the nics (this will be the next round because we need to).
I don't know the details on config as another guy has been doing the config and testing, but the cliff notes are:
Running disk tests on 1 VM we are getting limited by the 25gbe link, and we are seeing about 46gb throughput by running simultaneous disk tests from VM's on both Proxmox hosts with their storage on the TrueNAS host.