@t.lamprecht this was a try by myself to raise the vote for the qdevice. i hoped that it would change something - but it didn't succeed. i don't know what happend after, but i was not able to edit the corosync.conf anymore
nevertheless it is now running.
your hint with the service on the qdevice (pi) was right. the service on the pi was not running correctly. it said that it was not able to connect to the database. (shame on me, that I didn't check this before...). sorry for not creating a screenshot of this error.
my steps were:
I completely deleted the cluster on both nodes according this guide
https://pve.proxmox.com/wiki/Cluster_Manager#_remove_a_cluster_node (Seperate a node without installing) and created a new one. after trying to add the second node, i received an error that it was not possible to join. the error lead me to remove all "old" entries in the /etc/pve/nodes on both nodes
after this i was able to add the second node to the cluster.
I also reinstalled the pi and followed the steps in the last post
https://forum.proxmox.com/threads/qdevice-not-voting.108871/
for me, it is a learning process and I am not sure if some steps can be skipped or not. please correct me if some steps were wrong
thanks all for your support
EDIT: one last hint. the reason for deleting the cluster was, because after my previous post and a reboot, the cluster was also not ready anymore. maybe that was the reason, why the qdevice also didn't work...