Just an update on our choice:
We opted for ISPConfig (thanks Filipe!)
As for the alternatives:
* iredmail: super, but the free version does not let you do anything, so totally useless: the resulting configuration (auto installer) is pretty complicated, so I think a bit hard to maintain
* mailinabox: seems not updated that much
* mailcow: too many features (probably good if you do not have pmg in front; then: container only (which was not our preference), plus website/doc with mixed german/english
* mailu: really good, but on docker (which we wanted to avoid)
* then
https://modoboa.org which looks really great, has all the pros... they only issue we had was with installation (conflict with requirement with latest python in ubuntu/debian): I would strongly recommend it if you are handy with python/django.
btw: we did not use a plain postfix/dovecot mainly 'cause we needed a web interface to handle users (suspension, forwards, aliases), and also handle 3 domains (I think with one user a basic Webmin will be enough); the mailman included in ISPConfig also helped (we needed a couple of mailing lists)