SATA to PCIe card pass-through access denied

[someRandomUserIguess]

I'm trying to pass through a PCIe card to connect a SATA DVD-RW so that I can use MakeMKV

setup:
ASM1061 Chipset (Asmedia 1062 SATA Host Controller)
h11SSL-i supermicro mobo
7551P AMD EPYC
ASUS BW-16D1HT blueray reader

VM
OVMF UEFI
q35
debian 12.10
0000:63:00.0,pcie=1,rombar=0 (IOMMU group #77)

things I've done
enable and verified IOMMU enable on bios (amd-vi)

added
vfio
vfio_iommu_type1
vfio_pci
vfio_virqfd
to modules

checked that it has it's own IOMMU group

disabled CSM in bios

added
GRUB_CMDLINE_LINUX_DEFAULT="quiet amd_iommu=on"
I've heard that AMD systems do it by default but I'm getting desperate

what happens

if I'm lucky and the VM doesn't crash my entire system, when I check the devices I get

01:00.0 SATA controller: ASMedia TEchnology Inc. ASM1062 Serial ATA Controller (rev 02)
(prog-if 01 [AHCI 1.0])

subsystem: ASMedia Technology Inc. ASM1062/1062 Serial ATA Controller
Physical Slot: 0
Flags: bus master. fast devsel, latency 0 , IRQ 41
I/O ports at 8028 [size=8]
I/O ports at 8034 [size=4]
I/O ports at 8020 [size=8]
I/O ports at 8030 [size=4]
I/O ports at 8000 [size=32]
Memory at 82000000 (32-bit, non-prefetchable) [size=512]
Capabilities: <access denied>
[I] [/I]Kernel driver in use: ahci
Kernel modules: ahci


so it seems that the system IS detecting it, but it still doesn't have access to it somehow

edit:
I followed this guide
https://gist.github.com/kiler129/4f765e8fdc41e1709f1f34f7f8f41706
but now the VM either hangs or it crashes my entire system