First of all thank you SO much for your time and feedback!

It really means a lot to me since my time with Proxmox so far has been a mix of fun, loneliness, success and frustration
I have more or less forgotten about this post and my reddit post since there have been no reaction, but I will give you a little update of where I am in my proxmox Journey so far!
A not about Plex, Thank you so much for your thoughts on this

i am aware of the talk on plex forums about it but for now I am not switching from plex unless they go down or stop making servers for home use, A friend of mine gave me lifetime pass some years ago so the HW transcoding is not an issue. I have a very large movie collection that I dont want to move to another system unless I am really forced to. I am considering dabbling a bit with Jellyfin just in case plex goes bankrupt or something though.
The Nuc 14 pro with the 155h cpu and ARC igpu I have given up on (for now). I was using the NVME drive for my Nuc essential 355 to try and set it up without having to destroy everything I had up and running in my ubuntu server on bare metal.
I could not for the life of me get the IGPU to work for transcoding in plex. I admit I have not tried it in an LXC, but since I am not using my other NVME in my n355, I dont know how to test this out without having to reinstall my 155h machine except for buying a third NVME that I dont actually need right now Any cheaper and safer suggestions would be appreciated
As for the Arc igpus and the Core ultra cpus in general I have been able to find very little info about if anyone actually got them working for hw transcoding (and some AI stuff for immich would be very appreciated too) I have seen a few posts about it, some saying they are not supported for virtualisation from Intels side, I dont know what this means, I am thinking it means I cant split it up between serveral vms but again I dont understand it well enough.
So I have given up on all that for now (Would love to get it to work at some point because what i HAVE got working I love so far)
Ok now for the more fun stuff.
The n355 I have gotten to work, I ended up buying a ugreen USB-A 2.5gig nic which worked out of the box. With this I installed the network drivers for the Nuc 14 essential and got that up running.
Currently I am running
Homeassistant OS as a VM with usb ports and bluetooth passthough and I got everything backup up running in my Homeassistant setup
Then I am running an ubuntu server with desktop (just for XRDP as its headless) for the ease of use since I know and understand how to do stuff like folder NFS mounts and folder management in this I am running docker on it with Portainer as my gui for docker. The reason for portainer is I have now 2 NAS with a few docker containers and portainer, my 155h ubuntu server with docker containers and portainer and of course this n355. Using portainer means that 1. I have a gui (which i am a sucker for) and 2. I have a way to control all of it from one interface as I have connected them all into one portainer instance.
Now this ubuntu vm I have tried to use ballooning on because I only have 16gig of total RAM in the Nuc essential and I can’t get more (tried with a 32 stick but it wont boot). I can’t get ballooning to work though, I am guessing because Ubuntu uses all the ram not being used for buffer/cache.
on top of these 2 vms I am running the following in a LXC because if i mess around with the VM they goes down otherwise.
Uptime-Kuma, Adguard home and NGINX proxy manager and some NUT webpage thing that can give me a overview of my 2 UPS.
Except fort the NUT thing all of these are from the proxmox helper script library. I have considered setting up the rest of the current docker containers in LXC but 1. I dont really know how to do it? one for each or one for them all with portainer? Also I use tailscale in most of my containers or on the actually system. The folder management on ubuntu vm is so helpful for me for backup and restore moving around while i get things to wok, that I worry about moving it all into LXC and cli instead.
Ok my latest project Is getting a Proxmox backup sever up and running on one of my synology NAS in a VM using an NFS share as a source, And I have gotten ALL this to work except for one thing, I can’t get the API token thing to work currently, meaning I can’t add 2fa to my pbs account. But everything else works.
I think this is where I am for now, I have tried to figure it all out myself, using what ever I could find on the net and most of all using Chatgpt free version, the AI is many times very useful, but when its not its frustration because it goes around in circles with its answers.
If you get more time let me know your thoughts and ideas

When proxmox is working i REALLY love the ease of managing the hardware and the backups.
again thank you so much for your time and feedback! Really appreciated it and I hope my long post is not too much.
/Thawnk