yes full stop/start is the first thing I tried.
/usr/bin/kvm
-id 209
-name XXXX
-no-shutdown
-chardev socket,id=qmp,path=/var/run/qemu-server/209.qmp,server=on,wait=off
-mon chardev=qmp,mode=control
-chardev socket,id=qmp-event,path=/var/run/qmeventd.sock,reconnect=5
-mon...